2011 Ridge Rd.
Raleigh, NC 27607


Sunday Service
10:00 a.m.


Afflictive emotions are our friends! How can that be true?

Well, when we have an episode that causes us to feel upset / angry / uncomfortable / afraid / sad and react in an undesirable or unhelpful way (e.g. yell, shut down, say unkind things, end relationships), it is an opportunity to grow.

Here at Common Thread, we have developed a process that helps us become more self-aware of our behaviors and patterns, leading to growth in the spiritual life. How does it work? Just follow these steps:

1. Spend time with The Worksheet

Take some time to come to presence. Meditation, centering prayer, a quiet walk in the woods—anything that helps you to pause, connect with your essence, and listen for inner wisdom. Then, remaining aware of divine presence, grab a cup of coffee or tea and look over this worksheet. Consider each question with curiosity and write down your thoughts. As we reflect on the questions, we discover more about ourselves and the stories we carry that no longer serve us, and we can begin to see ourselves with less judgment and more compassion.

2. Schedule an appointment with a trained listener

When you are finished answering the questions, it is helpful to schedule an appointment with a listener. Our listeners attend Common Thread Church and have done intentional sustained practice both answering the questions and listening empathetically. In a space of sacred confidentiality, the listener will ask you for clarification and prompt you to dive deeper into the self awareness practice. When we connect with the divine nature within and find it in the person of our listener, we can heal the pain that causes us to suffer. Sustaining this practice over time, we are better able to treat ourselves and others with love and compassion and bring our best selves to the world and our relationships.

Interested in learning more? Reach out to our Self-Awareness leader, Kristi Phillips, and/or join the Self-Awareness Practice Group in the Church Center App to see videos of other people engaged in this practice, access other resources, and discern whether becoming a trained listener is something you feel led to do.

Self-Awareness Events

Kristi Phillips

Kristi Phillips

Kristi has been doing our self-awareness practice for years, and helping others do the same. Talk to her. She’ll help you get good at the practice.

Conflict Resolution

When we are able to listen to understand, not to respond, we can resolve conflict with others: those with whom we live, those with whom we work, those we deeply love, and those we are learning to love.

Using the tools developed in the Self-Awareness process, we each uncover the “things under the things” to reveal experiences and patterns that we bring to our conflict resolution sessions, where we can listen, come to know the other with compassion, and eventually arrive at an informed negotiation leading to real growth in the relationship.

If you are dealing with a conflict and want help resolving it, please fill out this contact form, and someone will reach back out to you to arrange a facilitation process.